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The BelcherA novel by Luke Schmaltz

Marvel-influenced punk rock fiction. Stan Lee meets Charles Bukowski, set loose on downtown Denver.

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Cover art for The Belcher, a novel by Luke Schmaltz

Synopsis

A long-brewing clash between a Mile-High music legend and an aggressive government censor has come to a head, as Pablo Vasquez, aka The Soothsayer, must contend with the diabolical Blatherskite and his minions. To bolster his crusade, Vasquez recruits Earl Danners, a prolific beer drinker with a burgeoning talent for belching forth sonic blasts of guttural decimation.

The Soothsayer and The Belcher encounter other outcasts and biological super freaks, and form a rag-tag team of vigilantes with Knockers, Red-eye Robinson, The Whine-o and an alluring femme fatale named Cricket. Together they align against the ranks of the Environmental Agency of Restrictions and a stench-spewing super villain known as The Gasser. The face of downtown Denver will never again be the same.

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Hear the first three chapters

Read by the author, mixed with sound effects, ambient tones and original music.

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01

Chapter One

A Rumbling Within

The Belcher discovers his ability to blast guttural waves of decimation and becomes a vigilante.

02

Chapter Two

A Man in a Hat: Introduction to the Soothsayer, Part One

The Belcher's soon-to-be mentor tracks him down at work.

03

Chapter Three

The Soothsayer: Part Two

Pablo Vasquez, aka The Soothsayer, demonstrates his BANE to get The Belcher's attention.

What people said

Packed with punk filth, pulp grit, and the darkest humor this side of death itself, The Belcher is the drunken chronicle of an ultraviolent miscreant of a hero, the kind the 21st century has forgotten but truly needs.

Jason Heller, author of Strange Stars: David Bowie, Pop Music, and the Decade Sci-Fi Exploded

This is a real gem for troubadours. It is Kafkaesque, super-human, high ladder bullet-train to absurdity and yet it has a worldly critique baiting us by the pop grammatology of Hollywood. Utterly enjoyable, but only for the ‘uncommitted.’

Travis Culley, author of A Comedy and a Tragedy

Take one shot superhero mythology for the modern age, one shot of ‘Fritz the Cat’-style sleaze humor and mix thoroughly in a trash can, and you’ve got ‘The Belcher.’ As a writer for Modern Drunkard Magazine, Luke Schmaltz has already established himself as a top-tier tastemaker of all things down and dirty, be it a martini or a street fight, and with ‘The Belcher’ his literary voice finds a fitting everyman character in Earl, a ramshackle drunk with a throat of vengeance. Prepare to be entertained.

JT Habersaat / Altercation Punk Comedy Tour
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In the press

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Latest news

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  • August 1, 2026

    An illustrated third edition of The Belcher is on the way

    The Belcher is being republished as an illustrated edition, complete with a new cover and a full set of character illustrations commissioned for the book.

  • August 1, 2026

    The sequel arrives this fall

    A follow-up novel is in the works and slated for release this fall. The first book is being relaunched ahead of it so new readers can start at the beginning.

  • January 15, 2021

    The Belcher audiobook is available everywhere

    All 45 chapters are read by the author and come complete with sound effects, ambient tones and original music, mixed and engineered by longtime King Rat bandmate Mike Makkay.